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Post-event blues happen to everyone.  We’ve all spent a considerable amount of precious time and effort preparing for a goal or major event at some point in our lives.  Perhaps putting aside any spare money you have to pay for a well needed family holiday, putting hours and hours into preparing for a physically demanding sporting event, hitting send on a huge piece of work you’ve been focussed on, or even planning that once in a lifetime wedding.  It’s getting nearer and nearer.  You’ve put everything into getting ready for it.  You keep telling yourself “just a couple more days”.  Then [...]

Realising your dreams can be a long, undulating path to success and it’s normal to experience challenges or even failure along the way.  However, the key is to not let these challenges hold you back. Establishing my Life Coaching business was no different.  The initial dream of being a Life Coach seemed the perfect use of the skills that I developed during my military career.  Motivating people, building their personal confidence, inspiring them to have endless levels of positivity and improving their Health & Fitness, was my bread and butter (https://www.oaxlifecoaching.com/courses/).  However, I never imagined just how much of a rollercoaster it [...]

It's impossible to go through life without experiencing regret.  Maybe a disappointment, a missed opportunity or a perceived mistake.  Perhaps you did or said something awful and feel guilty about it, or you were on the receiving end of bad treatment.  Regret will do it’s utmost to hold you firmly in place.  It will show no mercy or remorse and will eat away at your happiness, motivation and emotional state of mind.  Regret demonstrates that you care, which is a good thing.  However, if you don’t know how to recognise regret and learn how to deal with it, you may find it becomes [...]

A reality check can be a really useful tool to help improve your positivity.  With Rob’s* permission I want to share his Life Coaching journey with you.  Rob’s wife contacted me 6 months ago to see if I could help her husband cope with his depression and anxiety.  Rob was under GP care and with his GP’s approval he was reducing the anti-depressants he had been on for a number of years.  His depression had led to losing his job, falling out with friends/family and drinking unhealthy (excessive) amounts of alcohol.  She thought I may be able to help him restore a little [...]

Challenge yourself every single day! This weekend I cycled 138 miles from Great Ormond Street to Grantham with a fantastic bunch of people, in memory of Naomi Fardell.  Those of you who know me will probably be thinking that cycling 138 miles isn’t a challenge for me.  You may be right but this wasn’t about challenging myself.  It was about being part of a team, raising money for a fantastic cause and more importantly supporting those who had only been riding for a few months.  For them, cycling 138 miles was an incredible challenge, particularly given the torrential rain we suffered [...]

Negative mind chatter affects every single human being from Olympic Athletes, Astronauts to you and me.  It influences your mood, hampers your ability to concentrate, has a negative impact on your behaviour and can make you angry and unhappy.  It’s a fault in the human wiring system.  Did you know that 90% of our daily thoughts are ones we’ve had before and 80% of these are negative? “Everyone else is so much more popular/successful/wealthier than me.  That’s because they are better than me/more attractive/cleverer”.  Sound familiar? Are you plagued by negative thoughts when it comes to your ability to do absolutely [...]

Joe is a ground works construction engineer whose hours are unsociable and long, working around the country.  He told me that when he looked in the mirror or at photographs of himself he simply pushed the unhappy feelings about his weight to the back of his mind.  Subconsciously he knew he couldn’t go on looking and feeling the way he did, but he just didn’t have the motivation to give himself a well needed kick up the backside.  It’s a well known fact that trigger points or a particular moment/event can instigate change in our lives.  Joe’s trigger point came during a [...]

Real determination means refusing to give up then things get hard.  How many times have you thought to yourself “I’m determined to lose weight” or “I’m determined to change something in my life” and then never seen it through?  Take a moment to think about a time when you were determined to do something.  Did you achieve it?  If not, why?  What made you give up?  Accomplishing goals and dreams is on almost everyone’s minds, but not everyone succeeds.  Why?  Dreaming about climbing a mountain or having a successful business is simple, but taking steps towards achieving it requires determination.  If [...]

Personal standards are a set of behaviours that we choose for ourselves.  They are reflected in how we treat ourselves and how we treat others.  If we have high personal standards we will always expect to be treated with the highest regard.  If they are low we will accept things for how they are and may even allow others to walk all over us. Always set high personal and professional standards for yourself.  They are important in your relationship, the quality of your work, your family values and even your health.  For example, if you are messy or disorganised at home or [...]

Firstly, I want to say how proud I am of my wife for letting me publish this blog.  It’s an extremely personal story, which has taken great courage to share. The menopause will affect every woman and yet it’s still a subject that many don’t discuss.  This is one of the main reasons Nicky decided to let me share our experience with the menopause, over the last 18 months.  She said even if 20 people read the blog, then that’s 20 women who may benefit from these tips. Due to medical issues 19 years ago, at the age of 27 my [...]