Value and self-worth are issues that often come up during life coaching sessions. When I ask my clients to identify their value and self worth, they struggle to answer. They can quite easily tell me when they don’t feel valued, appreciated or respected. Self worth comes from within, it’s a positive belief that you are as worthy as anybody else and it’s value is completely up to you. It can only be obtained and measured by your belief that you actually deserve it (and of course you do!). How you feel about yourself is directly related to how you treat yourself and how you allow others to treat you. Improving your self-worth is necessary if you want to improve your life. Making yourself a priority isn’t selfish, it enables you to be a better person and to live a full and positive life.
Start by asking yourself the following 2 questions:
Do you believe you deserve great things in life?
Do you feel that you deserve to be happy?
If the answer is no to either of these questions, try these tips:
1. Discover your strengths. Ask your family and friends to identify one or two things that you are good at and how they would describe you to another person. This will give you a glimpse of yourself from another perspective. Instead of viewing the things you believe you aren’t good at, you will be surprised at the little things others notice that you are good at.
2. Write down your skills/strengths. As well as getting others to identify your strengths, take some time to write a list of what you perceive your strengths to be. This can be anything from making a wicked cake to being able to jog for a mile without stopping.
3. Stop comparing yourself. We are all unique and have our own strengths. If you compare yourself to others, you’re fighting a losing battle. Start to focus on the things that are going right for you. Don’t waste time and energy focussing on what others have or what they can do, because you will completely forget about yourself. Appreciate all the strengths that you have which were identified in the first two tips. Remind yourself of these strengths when you feel undervalued.
4. Physical and Mental Well-Being. Commit to making your physical and mental well-being a priority. Remember a Healthy body = A Healthy mind. Accept where you are and what you have. Minimise time spent with people who don’t appreciate you. If you have a friend or family member that drags down your self-worth, get them out of your life or be economical on time spent with them. Once you start to feel better about yourself, you can start to focus on working out how you can create the life you actually want.
5. Follow your passion. There is something in everybody that makes you come alive, something that inspires you. Dreams will never ever go away so pursue them with passion and purpose. Start to encourage yourself to find a way to start moving towards achieving these dreams. Live your best life.
6. Recognise when you make a difference. Make a conscious effort to recognise when you have been successful at something. Celebrating a success helps to build self-worth and reminds you of what you have achieved, no matter what it is.
7. Try a new routine. Try something new by stepping outside of your comfort zone. The more you do this, the easier change will become. When you achieve or accomplish something new, your confidence grows and those successes will come faster. The more your confidence grows, the more your feeling of self-worth will grow.
Remember if you think negatively about yourself you will lower your expectations. Taking action means that you have made a conscious decision to take responsibility for yourself. Life will be far more enjoyable if you are proud of who you are as a person.
Make the Change