A ‘mood hoover’ is someone who sucks the energy, life and positivity out of a person or group and replaces it with their own negative thoughts or mood. They only have to speak to you for a short time but they will physically and mentally drain you, completely changing the atmosphere, in a bad way. You will notice that they always complain or moan about stuff. They will focus on the negative things in their life, but rarely the positive and nothing at all motivates them.
We all have a bad day where life just seems to throw shit at us, but mood hoovers aren’t just having a bad day. They are constantly negative and leave you feeling flat and deflated. It’s someone who you don’t want to answer the phone to when you see their number come up. Someone who, if you go out as a group, you each have to take turns to talk to them, so it limits the damage they can do to your mood. I can just imagine you sat reading this realising who the mood hoover is in your social circle or at work!
In my opinion there are 3 ways to deal with a mood hoover; Ignore, challenge or get rid.
It’s natural to try and ignore someones bad behaviour, hoping they are just having a bad day. It can be very difficult to approach someone and comment on how they make you feel, especially if they are a friend of family member. If you choose to ignore it, you need to perfect the ability to switch them off when they start to drain you. It’s the only way to not let them get to you.
Be prepared when you encounter a mood hoover. Put your negativity shield up so they don’t drag you down with them. Try to find out what’s making them act in such a way. Try to throw them off balance as soon as they start hoovering your good mood up by responding to their moans in a positive way, such as:
“It will never work”. Ask them what do they think would work?
If they ask “why?”, say “why not?”
“Life is shit”, say “what can you do to make it better?”
Challenge their behaviour calmly but in a determined way. Be the ying to their yang. You may discover that they genuinely aren’t aware of how they are making people feel. Otherwise they may eventually get the hint and do something about it.
It’s important to be kind and always try and help someone in the first instance. If you have tried everything possible and their behaviour is starting to affect your mental health then you have to put yourself first and walk away. This isn’t an easy thing to do but it’s necessary for your own wellbeing. Limit your contact with them as much as possible. Distance yourself from them and surround yourself with people who are like minded. Those who inspire and motivate you. Ultimately be around those who make you smile from the inside out.
We all have a super power that allows us to choose our own attitude everyday. Don’t choose to be a mood hoover. Choose to be a radiator of energy and positivity!
What are you waiting for? Take the leap of faith. Make the Change. Not tomorrow. Not next week, but NOW.
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