How to not give a f**k about what people think of you

2020-06-28T17:38:46+01:00

Every day from the moment we wake up, we live our lives caring what other people think of us.  It’s human nature to want to be liked and accepted, so we tip toe our way through life doing things to please others.  Quite often you will do, or not do what you want, because you’re concerned about what others think of you.  Every time you do this it’s holding you back from what you really want to do.  It results in worry and stress, which can have a massive negative impact on your life and those around you.  Do any of these sound familiar:

If I speak up in work what will my colleagues think?

Are people talking rubbish behind my back?

If I give up my job to follow my dream of being my own boss what will my family and friends think?

I used to value the opinion of others too much and really let it get to me.  Over the years, more so as I’ve got older, I’ve learnt how not to give a f**k about what people think about me.  This is how I did it:

Trust a few opinions but ditch the rest

It’s important to have a group of people whose opinions you trust.  These are the people who will tell you if you’re about to do something a little crazy but also encourage you to take a risk for something worthwhile.  My wife has a ‘look’ that pretty much says ‘are you serious?’  This tells me that maybe some of my ideas are a little off grid!  At the same time as keeping me grounded she also encourages me to chase my dreams and take a risk.

Remove negativity from your life

There will always be a group of people who just say negative things about you for no reason.  Perhaps mutual friends, work colleagues or people you used to go to school with.  Just after I started my business I remember going back to an old place of work and 2 individuals started to make fun of some of the videos I was putting on FB.  Years ago it would have really bothered me but I literally looked at them and realised they were not worth the time or effort.  I walked away knowing I was doing a job I enjoyed and my wider audience enjoyed what I produced.  Needless to say they were removed from my friends list! 

Be true to yourself

At some point we all (some more than others) base our actions and decisions on how we anticipate other people will perceive us.  Ultimately we are afraid of what others will think.  Opportunities will pass you by if you care too much about what other people think or say.  You may act differently or dress differently just to fit in.  Follow your passion, be yourself and stick your fingers up to anybody who tries to tell you differently.

You don’t get another chance at life

The only thing that is 100% guaranteed in life, is death.  This may come across as morbid but it’s true.  You get one shot at life so live it the way you want to and enjoy every single second.  People are entitled to think whatever they want, just like you are.  What others think of you cannot change who you are or what you are worth, unless you let them.  When you put things into perspective it becomes far easier to stop caring about what other people think about you.  This is your life and only you need to approve your own choices.

Accept that some people will always dislike you

I very much doubt that you like everybody you know.  I certainly don’t!  It’s impossible to get everyone to like you so don’t bother wasting your time trying with some people.  They are simply not worth it.  Let people like you for who you are not for who they want you to be.  Focus on those who accept everything about you.

What you think of yourself is far more important than what other people think of you! 

Make the Change.  Not tomorrow.  Not next week, but NOW.

https://www.oaxlifecoaching.com/book-your-free-consultation/

Chris

2 Comments

  1. Shammass July 3, 2020 at 6:23 pm - Reply

    Really agree with what you have written and I admire your honesty and openness in following your dreams! Most of us will stay in the shadows as we limit ourselves due to the external pressure we bring on ourselves, based on external opinions!! Nice one!!

    • Chris Oakes July 4, 2020 at 8:06 pm - Reply

      Thanks. You are absolutely right about staying in the shadows. Once you have the courage to step out of them, it’s amazing how much you can improve your life!

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