We all hold onto things from the past. It could be a grudge towards somebody, a bad experience, a memory or even a feeling. It’s human nature to blame somebody else for things that go wrong. For example if it’s the breakdown of a relationship, the anger can hang around and make you think that it’s helping you move forward. In fact holding onto this anger is extremely unhealthy and by not letting go of those feelings, you will never move forward. Holding onto something from the past holds you back from achieving your true potential. Letting go is not a sign of weakness, it shows incredible strength!
7 effective ways of letting go and moving on
1. Identify your negative emotions. Recognise why you feel the way that you do, think about what happened to make you feel like that and work out what you can do to stop feeling that way. Don’t ignore your emotions – scream or shout if you need to! Learning to acknowledge your emotions can help you let go and move on.
2. Forgive others. There are always times in our life when people upset or hurt us. One of the best lessons in life is to forgive and forget. Maybe the other person was wrong and should apologise, but waiting for an apology isn’t going to help you. What has happened is in the past and you could waste a lot of energy waiting for that apology. Never let somebody else’s stupidity or mistakes stop you from living a happy life.
3. Distance yourself. If you surround yourself with negative and cynical people, you will become negative and cynical too. Spend less time (none if you can manage it!) with those who drain the life out of you. Positivity brings success and happiness – surround yourself with people who live and breathe positivity.
4. Accept you need to let go. It’s ok to feel angry or sad if something doesn’t go your way, but try not to dwell on it. You need to either leave it, change it or accept it. For example if it’s the loss of a loved one you’re unable to walk away from it or change it, the only way to move forward is to accept it. You don’t have to like it, but you do have to do it. You’re probably thinking, that’s easier said than done and to some degree that’s true, but you do have a choice!
5. Work out what you can change. Let’s face it, you can’t change the past. In order to let go, you must face what has happened, understand and accept that it’s impossible to change it and move on to bigger and brighter things. Write a list of what you can change and refer back to it, when you feel the need to.
6. Focus on you. Instead of looking outwards, take some quality time and focus on looking inwards. Look at who you are, get to know yourself better and work out what makes you tick. Understanding the type of person you really are will make you happier in the long run and letting go will seem easier.
7. Take a chance. Be present in every single moment because in a blink of an eye the opportunity has passed. Don’t regret missing out on something because you can’t let go of the past.
As you get older you discover more about who you really are and know what you want out of life. Sometimes holding on does more damage than letting go. It’s important to remember that just because something was right for you yesterday, doesn’t mean it’s right for you today.
Be the best version of you, every single day.
Make the Change